RoboGeisha

[Trailer for "RoboGeisha"]

OMFG. The homie Pahee showed me this. My brain doesn’t even know how to process this one. “Tengu milk” burning ppl’s eyes out. Nuff said.

This is simply more evidence that Japanese people are repressing some seriously ridiculous sh*t and it erupts and overflows in the form of artistic expression. Not sure if this is more positive or negative (probably more the latter than the former), but it does make for some insanely interesting/insane theatrics.

C

Cornell West on Race & Identity

[Cornell West & Tavis Smiley - Race & Identity]

The vicious legacy of white supremacy is America’s rawest nerve, is America’s most difficult dilemma, it is America’s most explosive issue. It is America’s most intractable problem – there is no doubt about it.

-Cornell West

This is yet another track from Dr. West’s companion CD to his latest book, Hope on a Tightrope. He has a brilliant knack for weaving words into intricate tapestries that beg us to challenge what we know to be “true” in this world. This 7.5 minute history lesson speaks volumes to the ways in which the legacy of slavery haunts American democracy to this day, despite what Obama fans might think about our “post-racial” society. =T

I’m getting older and nerdier by the second (and am definitely at peace with that).

Happy America day. =T

C

Brilliant/Resilient Song of the Day: Bun B – Get Cha Issue

[UnderGroundKing]

[Bun B - Get Cha Issue (right-click and "save-target-as" to DL)]

This song is off of Bun B’s severly slept-on 2008 LP, II Trill. It addresses (in this order) dirty Preachers, Police, and Politicians and is equal parts Sociopolitical Science & American (Port Arthur, TX) gangster. Rap doesn’t get much realer than UGK. The truth hurts, but it will set you free.

R.I.P(imp C).

senbei

Brilliant/Resilient Song of the Day: Hope Shorter – The Rain Don’t Last

[Hope Shorter on 3rd St. Promenade in LA]

[Hope Shorter - The Rain Don't Last (right-click and "save-target-as" to DL)]

I must admit that I’ve been slippin’ pretty hard in terms of the fact that it took me this long to post a woman artist in my “Brilliant/Resilient Song of the Day” category (esp when women tend to be the most brilliant and resilient beings I come across in my life). My bad, sisters. I have no excuses except for my hetero-male myopia. I’m working hard on re-evaluating these glasses and all I view through them…

So a couple years ago my broshot Tunji (formerly of Inverse) met this young woman and later played this song for me when I visited him in LA. What then ensued was my playing the song for countless youth I worked with, as well as homies I battle for/alongside with, who are brilliant and resilient every single day in their artistry, education and teaching. Emo and sappy, yes, but I’ve never ONCE had a room full of dry eyes when I played this song in various classrooms around the Bay Area. The youth always seem to know wassup, right?

P lease
E ducate
A ll
C hildren
E qually

ColinResponse

Smiley Faces & Self-Reflection

[Gnarls Barkley - Smiley Faces]

Just read this and it inspired me to write this…

these last 9 months since i started grad school have been beautifully painful.

in many ways, it feels like these last 9 months have compacted a similar amount of growth, self-evaluation, reflection, pain, love, and life as experienced in the last 9 years i’ve been alive.

i’ve literally stepped into a vast number of different arenas in which my becoming a man asks that i work harder than i knew was in my power. my battles with doubt of self-worth have been long and arduous, but like the homie G says, “being honest makes it easier to look at my reflection.” i have reveled in the opportunities that marrying my partner, and taking my education to a level that asks me to lay my soul on the line have afforded me, because they insist that i address my fears and insecurities head-on and without remorse.

one of the most difficult parts of interrogating myself and the person i see in the mirror has been not wallowing in how deeply upset i become with myself when listing the myriad miscalculations, missteps, assumptions, and f*ck-ups i’ve been a part of along the way. i think in the long run, my being so hard on myself is good, but only when met with a balance of recognizing the ways that i have used my life experience to work my hardest at loving myself and others, regardless of how they might feel about me.

i’ve been working like crazy these past 9 months to find balance between taking note of the ways different people perceive me and asking myself why they might respect and/or lack respect for me; and not giving a flying 747 f*ck about anyone who doesn’t understand me. i don’t believe for a single second that putting my mind completely towards one or the other is good for anybody and strive daily, to discover a middleground.

what does give me peace is that i know for a fact that i am working my ass off. i am striving to be better; to love across the board despite the multitude ignorance and inadequacy existent within myself and those around me. i am working to do better than simply pulling arundhati roy quotes out of my ass every time i speak of privilege and oppression, power and powerlessness. i am hearing music and not listening to it, from the pain i hear in a rapper’s laugh, to the giddiness i hear in an emo artist’s self-pity. i am reading in between what is between the lines. and i’m writing about it.

although it’s only the beginning, i feel that these last 9 months have been the start of my realization of the depths of how racial essentialism has affected me as a mixed heritage person. i HATE to admit it and and have fought for so long to disprove the vast array of preconceived notions put upon me as a “mixed up” kid, but today i believe it is safe to say that i have been at war with myself for much of my life. and while there have been times of peace, battles were always looming.

at this moment of my life, it has become apparent to me that although i may be left vulnerable, i am far less capable of inflicting self-damage by letting my guard down. in any event, i am left in a much better place if i am left laid out on the pavement, punched in the face with my nose bloodied for smiling at another brother of color, than walking through life, continuing an apathetic stare with empty eyes and “f*ck off” tattooed on my forehead. this is not to degrade other young men who feel the need to “make that face that tells predators it better to reassess just who your’e about to wrestle with” (brother ali) because i remember it well and occassionally slip back into it. what i am saying is that if i am working with all my might to be at peace with myself, especially for the love of my life and the children we will one day bring into this world, is that if i am fortunate enough to possess an ability to smile at the world around me, even for a second, i’d better f*cking do it. not all are so blessed and privileged. (for more check out bell hooks’ “the oppositional gaze”.)

in my own opinion, there aren’t many who have not only understood the “oppositional gaze,” but also put the ability to break out of it into perspective through music, like cee-lo green. his “smiley faces” with gnarls barkley is one of the deepest joints i’ve ever come across in my 27 years on this earth. when he discusses the ways we become addicted to our worries and fears is incredibly on point and wittnessing the shedding of his guards and transcendance into the genre-less music that is gnarls barkley, from hip-hop (quite possibly the most rigid when faced with defining “authenticity”) i find it astounding and courageous.

this may sound weird coming from a japanese/scottish/iroquois square bear, but i’m currently in the business of busting my ass to be more like gnarls barkley.

i want to be wherever i see you smiling, because it’s easily one of the hardest things to do… your worries and fears become your friends and they end up smiling at you.

Smile (if/when the opportunity presents itself).

C

Michael Jackson & Human Nature – A Tribute

[Remember the Times.]

[Michael Jackson - Human Nature]

Racism killed Michael Jackson. While I realize fully, that this statement is a blatant act of reducing his death and the causes of it to a single word, I do so as an ethnically ambiguous person of color with European ancestry, who blurs racial lines and has read, dialogued, written, and studied intensely, the affects of race and racism on people of color (as well as white people) for the last decade of my young life. If you’ve ever had the pleasure (aka patience) to read through any one of my rants, I urge you to bear with me, and hear me out again, despite how skeptical you might be about me having a good head on my shoulders when it comes to issues regarding race in America…

For Michael Jackson and every solitary person across the globe that he inspired. Rest In Power.

DADDY ISSUES

Joe Jackson was a f*cking d*ckhead. The amounts of pressure he put on his children, and particulary Michael at such a young age, was already a recipe for disaster. Let us all be reminded that the 1970’s and 1980’s were a f*cked up time for Americans of Black/African ancestry (not to say today is ‘peachy-keen’). The end of Vietnam coupled with Reagan’s “give all the country’s money to the rich and it will trickle down to the poor/working-class” cockamanie/obstuse/diabolical tragicnomics, left or put a disproportionate amount of people of color in poverty. It is in fact, safe to say that Ronald Reagan (not single-handedly – he had a ton of assistance) played a defining role in not only halting a civil rights movement toward equity and social justice in America, but pushed it backwards, profoundly.

Let us also not forget the crack epidemic (*cough* used by the government to divide the Black Panther party and destory Black communities *cough*)

In a climate that saw zero to little room for people of color succeeding financially if they were’nt already doing so, I ponder what kind of psychological strain Joe Jackson was under as a Black man in America to abuse his children physically, psychologically and/or sexually (and if this was done to him at any point during his own childhood). I am not in any way, shape, or form excusing his actions, nor the severe, relentless pressure he put on his children to live out his own personal dreams of fame and fortune. Something I often question when people have insanely f*cked-up sh*t happen to them however is, “what were conditions like in the mind of the oppressor (in this case Joe Jackson) to inflict such irreversible damage on their victim/s?” “What might be going through their minds that allowed them to justify insanity, violence and the disbursal of so much agony and grief?” “Who stood by, knew it was happening, yet allowed it to continue?”

While I am left in the dark as to the answers of these questions on most occasions, something I feel pretty confident about is that Michael was left without much a childhood. It appears from his many times awkward behavior and the way he related to children, that he was searching for an ellusive “perfect” childhood, late into his middle-age. No one but Michael and the 2 little boys he was accused of molesting will ever know if he did anything wrong to them, but I believe personally that he did not harm them (and I PRAY I am correct about this). What I believe is that MJ had zero sense of how a grown man is supposed to behave with a child because 1. he had no model to learn from and 2. he wanted to to be “best friends” with these little boys in the same way little boys who play in tree houses and sh*t are. I think some greedy parents saw an opportunity to exploit a an already out-of-touch-with-reality-man-child economically, and used their children to do so (this is all specualtion btw).

Michael’s talent, coupled with his innocence about the world and a severely tragic childhood, created the perfect equation for an incredible career and an eventual self-destruction.

BLACK OR WHITE(?)

It tickled me at first, but after sinking in for a minute or two, I began to feel infuriated and sick to my stomach when watching “Larry King Live” on CNN as he spoke to Cher about Michael’s passing. When asked about why she believed someone so “beautiful” and “talented” would be so bent on changing their physical appearance so drastically, Cher replied, “I truly have NO idea…”

Cher is a f*cking idiota for one of two reasons.

1. She has no idea that white standards of beauty in America have the ability to be internalized by people of color who in turn, begin to hate themselves, or…
2. She knew this and played dumb, due to her fear and/or white guilt.

Never was a huge Cher fan, but this truly solidified her ancient-ness for me.

I am not sure how much of Michael’s complexion change was due to his skin condition, but not unlike America, I continue to hope for the best but am far from optimistic about my wishes coming true. The ample amounts of work done on his face from the late 80s to the late 90s leave me at a loss for words. As someone who has scrutinized his own physical features more than he can remember throughout his life, I am left only in a place of gratitude that I never felt the urge to seek medical attention to change what I look like.

During different periods of my life I wished to erase and/or enhance my ethnic and/or anglo features, and am only brought to a place of what can only be described as heartbreak when I think of Michael believing that people might love him more if he subtracted his melanin and dismantled his facial features. I am supremely greatful for the friends and family around me who continue to support me enough to remove the doubt of self-worth that Michael must have been experiencing to subject his body to these violent alterations.

TELL THEM THAT IT’S HUMAN NATURE

In the end, Michael’s life was a beautiful tragedy. For someone to communicate so epically how he wished the world could be, to some might construed as naive and childish (or “gay” & “b*tchmade” by the naive and childish). I argue however, that his genius, not unlike Tupac, Marvin Gaye, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley, John Lennon, Coltrane, etc. is something that comes along only ever so often and asks us to be better. To me, Michael Jackson (and all the other forementioned artists) are like beautiful, intricate fabrege eggs, asking us to appreciate them and the delicacy of their brilliance, all while begging the world to not crush them between our sweaty fingers and callused palms. I’m so sorry we couldn’t appreciate you fully, until we destroyed you, Michael. Rest in Peace. There is NO doubt in my mind you are in a much better place.

Tell them that it’s human nature,

Senbei

p.s.

Brilliant/Resilient Song of the Day: Damien Marley feat. Nas – Road to Zion

[God's Sons.]

[Damien Marley feat. Nas - Road to Zion (right-click and "save-target-as" to DL)]

So when I heard that Nas and Damien Marley were releasing an album together, it damn near made a blood vessel burst in my brain. Of all the 2nd Marley generation, Damien “Junior Gong” has always been my personal favorite for his flow, choice of production, message, and deep connection to his spirituality. His 2005 LP, “Welcome to Jamrock” is solidified for me as one of the greatest dancehall records of all time and was filled with insane soundscapes, including this gem right here.

Nas…
If you’ve read my blog before, it’s safe to say you probably know I’m a fan. Mr. Jones’ verse on this track ranks up there with my top 5 all-time and I tend to use this verse in my Jigga vs. Nas debates as a “Hovi could never write this verse,” argument. “I’m jus playin’…but I’m sayin’!”

Sometimes I can’t help but feel helpless
I’m havin daymares in daytime
Wide awake try to relate
This can’t be happenin like I’m in a dream while I’m walkin
Cause what I’m seein is haunting
Human beings like ghost and zombies
President Mugabe holding guns to innocent bodies
In Zimbabwe
They make John Pope seem Godly
Sacrilegious and blasphemous
In my lifetime I look back at paths I’ve walked
Where savages fought and pastors taught
Prostitutes stomp in high heel boots
And badges screaming,”Young black children stop or I will shoot!”
I look back at cooked crack
Plush cars that pass by
Jaguars – mad fly
And I’m guilty for materialism
Because Blacks is still up in the prison
Trust that
So save me your sorries, I’m raising an army
Revolutionary warfare with Damien Marley
We sparkin’ the iron, marching to Zion
You know how Nas be:
NYC state of mind on me…

-Nas

BLESS.

C

[FREE DOWNLOAD] Senbei & DJ Dahi – A.D.D. (Alumni Didn’t Die) EP

So my brother Dacoury “DJ Dahi” Natche of Los Angeles / UCSC and I, put this 4 track EP together a few years ago (2006) but it was done before I was blogging, so it never really saw the light of day. I just went back to it the other day and even though my mind/soul/body is in a pretty different place today, I thought I’d throw it out there for the world (aka the dozen ppl who read ColinResponse – love yall! =P) to see.

If you’re not knowing, DJ Dahi is a musical genius. Please check out his MySpace page and be ready to have your ears made love to (its actually much more enjoyable and less gross than it sounds =T).

APOLOGIES:
You’ll hafta download the tracks individually. =T I tried f*cking w/ Megaupload for an hour and it was hatin’ on me so I chalked it up.
_______

1) Senbei & DJ Dahi – Sensational (Dahi Remix)

[Senbei & DJ Dahi - Sensational (Dahi Remix) (right-click and "save-target-as" to DL)]

This is a song I originally did back in 2004 and re-spit over Dahi’s soulful-spectacular. Looking back, I appear to be in full-on swag mode, and while not necessarily a bad thing, I’m laughing right now because I’m actually making a point to try and be as nerdy, vulnerable and “uncool” as possible these days. What a difference 5 years makes.

2) Senbei & DJ Dahi – Shotglass

[Senbei & DJ Dahi - Shotglass (right-click and "save-target-as" to DL)]

An ode to the drank, told from three differing/similar perspectives.
I found courage in a shotglass and quickly enjoyed it / numbing hurt, it made me talk fast – I really enjoyed it / fear and anger went to purgatory, killing my demons / went from zero to superhero like Gilbert Arenas…

3) Senbei & DJ Dahi – When It Rains

[Senbei & DJ Dahi - When It Rains (right-click and "save-target-as" to DL)]

This is song dedicated to J, Peter and Grandpa Bop and may be the truest sh*t I ever wrote.

J: I pray everyday for the day you get free and anxiously await the moment we can see each other without the prying eye of the prison industiral complex watching over us as we do so.
Peter: Rest in Peace. You spirit is a constant reminder of the importance of my struggle as an ally in the war against homphobia. Thank you for caring about me and Aki so deeply. We miss you.
Bop: Rest in Power. You were/are a shining example of what a human being should be. The courage to love across the board and the stregnth to understand and be patient with those who directed misguided hate at you, is something I strive to model. I am never without you.

4) Senbei & DJ Dahi – A.D.D. (Alumni Didn’t Die)

[Senbei & DJ Dahi - A.D.D. (Alumni Didn't Die) (right-click and "save-target-as" to DL)]

This is yet another standard braggadocio rhyme-form, which I am not necessarily hateful of, but am currently in a place of moving away from. I think iLL-Literacy put it best when they said, “die swag, die.” I DO like that I built Dahi up in this one, because dude is a muhf*ckin’ beast, foreel-foreel.

*BONUS TRACK*
5) Amy Winehouse feat. Senbei – You Know I’m No Good (Remix)

[Amy Winehouse feat. Senbei - You Know I'm No Good (Remix) (right-click and "save-target-as" to DL)]

To clarify, and just so nobody hates me forever, this song is not written for any one particular person. It is kind of an amalgamation if you will, of different women I dated prior to my wifey. It’s more an appreciation of her than a diss to anyone else. On a whole ‘nother note, isn’t it odd that Amy Winehouse is so much like a rapper? Homegirl seems to be simultaneously “ready to die,” and addresses the public like it’s “me against the world.” Interesante.
_______

[DJ Dahi - Genius at work]

Thanks for listening/reading! Keep doin’ U!

Bless,
Senbei

Brilliant/Resilient Song of the Day: Raphael Saadiq – Big Easy

[Made in the Eastbay.]

[Raphael Saadiq - Big Easy (right-click and "save-target-as" to DL)]

It is my personal opinion that Raphael Saadiq’s The Way I See It breathed life back into RnB/Soul. Simply amazing. This song is a tribute to the victims of Hurricane Katrina/Bush’s response to it. Please don’t catch a bad case of ‘United States of Amnesia’ and forget about it.

Keep Marchin’,

Masashi

Brilliant/Resilient Song of the Day: Eminem – It’s Okay

[A Wonderfully Brilliant & Problematic Contradiction of the Utmost Proportions.]

[Eminem - It's Okay (right-click and "save-target-as" to DL)]

This is Marshall way back in 1994 off of his first LP, Infinite. He sounds a teeny bit like an Anglo Nasir Jones here. To be fair ‘94 was the year Illmatic came out and Em has always talked about what a huge fan of Nas he’s been throughout his life. Listen and tell me you can’t hear the influence of God’s Son on Slim Shady!

Eminem – It’s Okay (feat. Eye Kyu)

Eye-Kyu:
(CHORUS)
It’s a broke day but everything is ok (It’s ok)
I’m up all night, but everything is alright (It’s alright)
It’s a rough week, and I don’t get enough sleep (I can’t sleep)
It’s a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)
It’s a broke day but everything is ok (It’s ok)
I’m up all night, but everything is alright (It’s alright)
It’s a rough week, and I don’t get enough sleep (I can’t sleep)
It’s a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)

Verse 1: Eminem
One day I plan to be a family man happily married
I wanna grow to be so old that I have to be carried
Till I’m glad to be buried
And leave this crazy world
And have at least a half a million for my baby girl
It may be early to be planning this stuff
Cause I’m still struggling hard to be the man, and it’s tough
Cause man it’s been rough, but still I manage enough
I’ve been taken advantage of, damaged and scuffed
My hands have been cuffed
But I don’t panic and huff, frantic and puff
Or plan to give up, the minute shit hits the fan it erupts
I’m anteing up double or nothing, I’ve been trouble enough
And I’m sick of struggling and suffering, see
My destiny’s to rest at ease, till I’m impressed and pleased
With my progress, I won’t settle for less than cheese
I’m on a quest to seize all, my own label to call
Way before my baby is able to crawl
I’m too stable to fall, the pressure motivates
To know I hold the weight of boulders on my shoulder blades
I seen the golden gates to heaven on Earth
Where they don’t pull a weapon on you when you stepping on turf, Q

Eye-Kyu:
Chorus X2

Verse 2: Eminem
I’m going for broke, gambling and playing for keeps
Everyday in the streets, scrambling and paying for cheep
Praying for sleep
Dreaming with a watering mouth
Wishing for a better life for my daughter and spouse
In this slaughtering house, caught up in bouts
With the root of all evil
I’ve seen it turn beautiful people crude and deceitful
And make them do shit illegal
For these Grant’s and Jackson’s
These transactions explain a man’s actions
But in the mist of this insanity, I found my Christianity
Through God and there’s a wish he granted me
He showed me how to cope with the stress
And hope for the best, instead of mope and depressed
Always groping a mess, of flying over the nest
To selling dope with the rest
I quit smoking cess to open my chest
Life is stressful inside this cesspool
Trying to wrestle, I almost bust a blood vessel
My little brother’s trying to learn his mathematics
He’s asthmatic, running home from school away from crack addicts
Kids attract static, children with automatics
Taking target practice on teens for Starter Jackets
I’m using smarter tactics to overcome this slum
I won’t become as dumb as some and succumb to scum
It’s cumbersome, I’m trying to do well on this Earth
But it’s been Hell on this Earth since I fell on this Earth

Eye-Kyu:
Chorus X4 to end.

Don’t Let ‘Em Say You Aint Beautiful,

Senbei