Transitions
Putting this blog into retirement for now and trying something new. Please click on picture of the assclown directly above if you’d like to check it out.
<3 alwayz,
C
Education as the Practice of Freedom
Finna take a break for a while from the blog in order to both 1. jump back into the artistic realm of things, and also to 2. dedicate more time to connecting with my loved ones. I’ve found (and Baldwin points this out beautifully) when someone is a writer, they often find themselves dealing in solitude. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am at my best when I know in no uncertain terms, that I am backed by my incredible community of imperfect, insanely loving/human, freedom fighters, because ego and narcissism are kept at bey due to gratitude not leaving them too much room to operate. I’m discovering “me + too much solitude (can and does at times) = my becoming a sh*tty version of myself”.
I wanted to leave those of you who find your way to this blog (with any degree of regularity) with the most updated version of Dr. Jeff Duncan-Andrade’s talk, “Note to Educators: Hope Required When Growing Roses in Concrete.” Working with and learning from him at SFSU changed the course of my life in that he provided me an example of an eastbay mixed race man of color educator who: loved 2Pac/Hip-Hop; played hoops; was deeply maladjusted to injustice; expressed his masculinity without fear and/or it being at the expense of femininity; was unapologetically obsessed with pushing with everything in his mind and body to see that all young people receive a quality education; used any/all privilege he could identify in his own positionality to redistribute resources back to where they had been historically stolen; and strove to identify when and where he was f*cking up by inviting challenge and critique into his life as opposed to running from and avoiding it.
German Philosopher Immanuele Kant says, “Examples are the go-cart of judgment,” and Cornel West says, “Courage is contagious.” I realize Jeff’s work is not a panacea for the social trauma that affects poor/working young people of color in schools, that he is imperfect, never “free of spot or blemish,” occupies a different positionality than me as a Chicano (as opposed to Nikkei) male, and is the result of a ton of amazing support and mentoring in his own life… But the big homie gave (and continues to give) me a courageous example of something I didn’t necessarily believe to be possible until I witnessed it firsthand. His tutelage not only sharpened my moral compass, but far more importantly helped me to begin humanizing and therefor loving myself in this period of my bless-ed life and I am so far from the only one of his students he’s assisted in this process.
In other words, I feel very strongly that if you are able to take the time to watch this in its entirety, you won’t be sorry. =P
Sayonara for now, family. I’m off to make another attempt at synthesizing the brilliant lessons you’ve all un/knowingly taught me. Thank you (as always) for dropping by.
Peace + Balance,
C.Masashi.Senbei
Brother Ali on the ‘N-Word’
via illdoctrine
The thing with the ‘n word’: it’s very very confusing for white (me: and/or Asian) kids who have a lot of black friends and are accepted. And I can’t stand here and say that when I was 9 years old, and all my friends were black, and they were telling me ‘you’re basically black,’ that I didn’t believe that. Now I’m at a place where I’m just like ‘not everybody knows me and nobody should ever have to…why should I impose on other people to have to confront that question in their mind?’ You know what I mean?
-Brother Ali
It’s been really beautiful and inspiring to me as a fan of his, to watch this man grow, mature, and develop as a artist and human being over the years through his music. With life often feeling so messy for those (millions) of us who during our youth searched for – most times in vain – an identity that would never be policed by others, Ali has provided me a consistent example of critical hope. He reminds me in no uncertain terms, that like Malcolm X stated, “Stumbling is not falling,” or like Samuel Beckett wrote, “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
Too often I create a fantasy-world in my head, wherein I lead myself to believe there are people out there who have it all figured out, who have created an idea or piece of art that is wholely “original”, or who have reached self-actualization without both incredible support and without making dumbass mistake, after dumbass mistake, after dumbass mistake…
In the face of being asked “What (or who) are you?”, told “Be yourself,” “Quit frontin’,” etc. (during my best attempts to express myself honestly) more times than I can comprehend, I am still only in the beginning and ongoing stages of unravelling the tightly-wound ball of ego/fear/insecurity that too often keeps me from extreme gratitude and critical self-reflection. Today, it is crystal clear to me that (as Ali exhibits) moving toward love and justice undeniably require both. I am so thankful for artists like Ali, who practice what they preach and provide me with further evidence that it quite literally “aint that black or white…”
To y/our perfect imperfections,
C
“The U.S. and its allies will do anything they can to prevent authentic democracy in the Arab world.”
NOAM CHOMSKY: The U.S. and its allies will do anything they can to prevent authentic democracy in the Arab world. The reason is very simple. Across the region, an overwhelming majority of the population regards the United States as the main threat to their interests. In fact, opposition to U.S. policy is so high that a considerable majority think the region would be more secure if Iran had nuclear weapons. In Egypt, the most important country, that’s 80 percent. Similar figures elsewhere. There are some in the region who regard Iran as a threat—about 10 percent. Well, plainly, the U.S. and its allies are not going to want governments which are responsive to the will of the people. If that happens, not only will the U.S. not control the region, but it will be thrown out. So that’s obviously an intolerable result. Read the rest of this entry
iono #36
1. a friend/brother/comrade just reminded me (whether he meant to or not) that i too often forget that anyone and everyone can see me write here, and that i need to be more cognizant of the ways that what i author is an intertwining of my speaking to my self and community simultaneously. even now as i write this, i’m unsure who i’m talking to – you and/or me – and wondering if that is problematic (and if so, to what degree), or if it is simply just another un/original way of being&seeing. it’s definitely never that cut and dry, but i’m feeling undeniably a bit shameful at the moment. im also feeling very grateful for the sharing of his lens on the matters of this rant.
2.
i completed peter nathaniel malae’s novel, “what we are” last night and the book shook me to my core. it’s helped me to come to grips a multitude of sh*t including, but not limited to, the following things:
A. when one feels isolated, invisible or demonized (as many mixed heritage people i have known, loved, despised, and/or felt indifferent towards do), one of our first human reactions and psychological defenses is often to create a laundry list in our heads of qualities that make us “better,” “smarter,” “different,” etc. than those we feel excluded by; that it is an ongoing battle to identify if and when this happens; and that if one is lucky/privileged/supported/blessed enough to pick up on it when or after it occurs, healing and pushing away from such counter-intuitive behavior could and should be engrained into our life’s work if at all possible.
B. masculinity is NOT evil, as some of those i love and will fight with/for forever, appear (in my mind) to believe. masculinity at the expense of femininity is what i would argue to be evil. masculine energy continuing to dominate the feminine will undeniably violently end us all, but as malae points out, this world may also very well be utterly doomed without it.
C. the united states of america is currentlly a sinking titanic, and the string quartet that plays as we all go down is lulling us to sleep as we go complacently into the freezing waters (those of us that made it onto the decks anyway).
D. i am not 1/1,000,000,000th as important as i ever thought i was. and neither are you. and that’s actually totally, perfectly okay.
E. the worst kind of artist (with regards to moving a culture/society/planet forward) is one that craves recognition in the form of pity. i can’t listen to most of my old music because of the ways i notice it too often (for me anyway) infected by emotions that feel useless.
F. “Prison makes the good turn bad, the bad turn worse, and those with freedom act all high and mighty.”
3.Young adulthood in 2011 is insanely f*cking hard/beautiful. I’ve never been so insecure or confident in my entire life (and I doubt very highly I’m the only one).
Brilliant/Resilient SOTD: Blue Scholars – Yuri Kochiyama
Such a huge fan of Geo and Sabzi. Brand-spankin’-new “Cinemetropolis” album available for digital DL now. Official release June 14. 411 here.
I put that on my mama…when I grow up I wanna be just like Yuri Kochiyama,
Senbei
‘In Your Life Forever’
If we end up showing politicians and policy makers precisely how to address the “problems” existent in urban education and public schools – and no one allows us the resources to do so – things will get very, very ugly, very, very quickly. Not a threat by any means. Simply the truth as I perceive it.
I also can’t help but notice that when the interviewer begins speaking about what “a group of socially conscious Asian American film festival organizers” have crtiqued about Jeff’s work, his body language seems to (ever so slightly – to me at least) imply that he is ready to go on the defensive…and I do not blame him for a single second. It is not beyond my scope by any means, that a large number of Asian Americans (myself inculded today) have found relative comfort within (assimilated?) middle-class American identity. I would argue that what this means is that in order to not become/remain what Paulo Freire termed the “sub-oppressor,” we must actively, humbly, humanly, imperfectly work to (as an eloquent wordsmith once put it) “chiggity check y/ourself before I/we wreck y/ourself.”
With safety comes complacency, conformity, cowardice, and even worse, indifference to the suffering of others. It hits me dead in the heart when Jeff speaks about the ways in which the young people he loves and serves actually do more to educate him and assist him in his own growth and healing than he does for them. Earlier today, I quite literally reminded a young sister I have been working with for the past year that, “I will have your back for the rest of your life and I am honored to work with and learn from you.”
Love and education are similar in that the more you give, the more you receive.
In Your Life Forever (should you require it),
C
Culture Warrior: Shirin Neshat
She must be f*cking seasick from all that swag surfin’.
Art begins with resistance – at the point where resistance is overcome. No human masterpiece has ever been created without great labor.
iono #35
1. i think i’m going to slow down this blogging thang and try to write a book. i’m dummy inspired by “What We Are.” Peter Nathaniel Malae’s ability to paint a perfect picture of existence as a perpetual outsider (as a mixed heritage samoan/white american) is uncanny. it’s interesting to notice the ways i feel as if he’s speaking directly to/for me in certain instances, and then will say something that i can’t relate to in any way, shape or form in the same breath. his writing has the beauty and violence of a lebron james fast break slam dunk in the reader’s face. sherman alexie calls his book, “a roller-coaster ride inside the haunted house of multicultural sin and shame.” i want to try and create something that is as true to my own life, but more in the style of a young penny hardaway twisting through the lane for a double-pump reverse layup off the glass, & for arundhati roy or eduardo galeano to call it, “a cascade of laughter and heartbreak that lives with its head in the clouds and it’s feet on the ground.” LMAO fat f*cking chance… =P
2. working to be an ally to folks who face differing and/or completely different forms of oppression than you is a messy business. you have to be prepared to stick your neck out and take risks that might make you look and feel like a complete f*cking assh*le at times. i’ve undoubtedly slipped and fallen on my face (and continue to) more times than i can count or care to remember. however, i believe with all my heart that if less people occupying varying and various positions of privilege had “played it safe” before my generation was born, the young people i work to love and serve wouldn’t require me or my time in the first place. the paradox of b*tchassness (no patriarchy).
3. i sat in a circle with a group of amazing young people of color and listened to them appreciate myself and one another today. if that kind of love/liberation is corny, gay, weak, b*tchmade, etc., then i’m a fruity, brittle, cheesepuff tamale.
4. S/O to the homie for this scrumtulescent bday gift:
5. plz don’t feed the trolls.
6. this is me at the front door of our office at least 2x a week. one might think i’d have figured it out after a while. i think of this cartoon whenever it happens. winning.
7. wifey just finished watching “the voice,” so i’m out. peace!
