You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October 2008.
[Oakland, stand UP.]
The Way I See It
Raphael Saadiq’s Album
Goes Hard in the Paint
-Senbei (*bows*) =P
Raphael Saadiq’s new disc, “The Way I See It” is currently saving my f*cking life. Buy it NOW. Thanx for putting me on, G, Ed and Drizzle. Y’all know my emo-soulful-sensitive-ass way too well.
["Love That Girl"]
Holy F*cking Sh*t
Rhthym & Blues Is Not Dead
Yadadaimsayin’
-Senbei (*bows*)
(This is written as part of the Youth Media Blog-a-thon, sponsored by Youth Outlook and WireTap.)
[Yes We Candidacy]
*Thanx for the post title G-Slavename!*
I recently realized that I’ve become addicted to cynnicism and I’m working on kickin’ that nasty habit. I have lived a life full of blessing, beauty, laughter and love; I have lived a life full of heartache, disappointment, anxiety and despair. I recently spoke with a San Francisco State U Ethnic Studies Professor who told me, “nobody goes into this line of work for the money. If we were rational we would go into sociology, history, psychology, etc. People come here (Ethnic/Asian American Studies) to process pain. This is a study in pain. People come here because it calls them and have no other choice but to answer it…”
So apparently I have experienced and wittnessed enough pain in my life and the lives of people around me to feel the need to process it; and apparently I am privileged enough to have come to a place where I have the opportunity to do so. When expressing some of the guilt that comes along with being able to access an opportunity such as this, another one of my Professors exclaimed, “do NOT look at this chance as something to feel guilty about, but as tremendous responsibility!” That made me feel a lot better, but didn’t exactly take any weight off of my shoulders either. =P
In any case, if there are two things I know too well they are the feelings of triumphant optimism as well as devastating hopelessness. The next 12 days (and beyond) promise to be filled with both. The 2008 elections represent a Tipping Point in American history. Are the American people as a whole ready to: a) get off their arses and vote, b) vote for a better candidate and say no to the fear, ignorance and hatred of the past, or c) see another 4 years of the same ole bullsh*t?
[via Jamilah]
The following post is my best attempt at voicing the ways in which the 2008 Elections look through my Japanese/Scottish/Native/Asian/Anglo/Amerikan/Richmond/El Cerrito/Working-Class/Middle-Class/Heterosexual/Hip-Hop/AsianAmericanStudies/20-something lens. Please bear with me, family. I’m still figuring it all out myself…
Yadadai-whoever-gave-barack-his-middle-name-aint-think-he-was-gonna-run-for-president…
“THE ONE”
Barack Obama vs. Neo
[Keanu "watching-me-act-is-painful" Reeves: Chinese/Hawaiian, Anglo]
Does it really surprise you that we would need a mixed person to “save the world?” I DON’T say this in a vain attempt to big up mixed people, but to make the point of the ways in which public figures can benefit from blurring racial lines in America. If a biracial, straight-A, Harvard Law President, raised by 3 white people (his mother and grandparents) is getting hit by every accusation of being a “muslim terrorist who hates America,” imagine the attacks on say a President Morgan Freeman… While people of mixed heritage are racialized differently depending on their ethnic background/s, I do NOT for a second believe that a person with ZERO Anglo/white ancestry could become the President of the United States today. That’s my opinion; I could be wrong (but I HIGHLY doubt that sh*t).
I believe that Obama’s uncanny ability to connect to white folks’ hearts around issues regarding certain family values and growing up working-class through his oratory skills is the largest reason for his great success. Let’s face it: if a large number of white people in this country don’t like you, there is only so far you can really go within the arena of electoral politics (and this is NOT to say that all white people like Barack). With all the “hope” that surrounds an Obama Presidency, I am forced to examine the ways in which people (myself included) have at times looked for him to be a messaiah, sent to save us. That sh*t needs to stop.
In “The Matrix,” Keanu Reeves character “Neo” is someone who sees the falsities in the world around him and possesses an innate ability to bend and blur the rules of that world. He is known as “The One,” prophecized to be a savior who will battle the machines who have enslaved mankind, thus liberating our bodies and minds from the mistakes of our past. Sound familiar? =T
Seeing the Matrix:
1. Barack aint Jesus, people (that doens’t mean he can’t be crucified however – PLEASE protect him Lord =T).
2. Keanu was chosen over Will “the boss of Hip-Hop generation actors since Tupac died” Smith, for the role of “Neo.” I guess an ethnic-white guy seemed more suitable to Hollywood (I’m tellin’ yall about the advantages of having that Anglo blood, blud!). =T
3. I don’t think Keanu has ever played a role in which his Asian ancestry is acknowledged, which does NOT go. =T
4. To me, this (presidential) race is less Black vs. White than it is the Past vs. the Future. =)
He can’t stop bullets with his mind, but he will give u a phatty tax cut if you make less than $250,000 a year! Don’t take the blue pill u beezys! Go down the rabbit hole w/me and vote Obama!
“FORBIDDEN LOVE”
Miscengenation vs. Proposition 8
["Yee! Where da white women at?!?!" (jk - don't be so sensitive!)]
A (not so) long time ago, it was illegal for a person of color to marry a white person.
The year my parents married, miscegenation still described a felony in over half the states in the union. In many parts of the south my father could have been strung up from a tree for merely looking at my mother the wrong way…
-Barack Obama
While “Eugenics” (the practice of breeding the “right” kind of person) was gaining huge interest among the upper eschalons of society as a way of justifying systems of domination based on racism, people were being told by the American Government, who they could and could not love. Sound familiar? =T
[The "Loving" Couple]
When a Black woman and her white husband Mr. and Mrs. LOVING (swear to f*cking God that was their real name) were arrested in Virginia in 1958 for marrying each other in the District of Columbia, they fought back. LOVING vs. VIRGINIA changed the game (remix) in terms of who could marry who, based on race.
The U.S. Supreme Court overturned the convictions in a unanimous decision, dismissing the Commonwealth of Virginia’s argument that a law forbidding both white and black persons from marrying persons of another race, and providing identical penalties to white and black violators, could not be construed as racially discriminatory. The court ruled that Virginia’s anti-miscegenation statute violated both the Due Process Clause and the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment. In its decision, the court wrote:
Marriage is one of the “basic civil rights of man,” fundamental to our very existence and survival…. To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State’s citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discrimination. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.The Supreme Court concluded that anti-miscegenation laws were racist and had been enacted to perpetuate white supremacy:
There is patently no legitimate overriding purpose independent of invidious racial discrimination which justifies this classification. The fact that Virginia prohibits only interracial marriages involving white persons demonstrates that the racial classifications must stand on their own justification, as measures designed to maintain White Supremacy.
Despite this Supreme Court ruling, such laws remained on the books, although unenforced, in several states until 2000, when Alabama became the last state to repeal its law against mixed-race marriage.
This a f*cking scary time in Amerika (not that it hasn’t been, or wasn’t before). GLBTQ (Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Transgender/Queer) folks are having their civil rights attacked in California for not assimilating to heteronormativity. Proposition 8 seeks to ban Gay Marriage, writing into the constitution that marriage can “only be between a man and a woman.” I question what kind of person has the time and energy and uses their time and energy to specifically go about trying to make people’s lives harder. I realize fully, that one’s faith is very important and that a multitude of Americans follow the Bible quite literally, word for word. I also realize the arguments that people use primarily tend to begin with the Bible and the ways in which it disagrees with the “lifestyle.” *SIGH*
“You might just be a pseudo-Christian looney-bin if…”
-You are “Pro-Life” and support the death penalty.
-You think we can “bend the rules” around that whole ‘thou shall not kill,’ thing (Iraq!!!), but NEVER for two dudes wanting to be united in partnership under the law.
-You think Jesus was Anglo Saxon.
-You think I want to be in “heaven” with people like you. According to you, all the homies will be in Hell with me anyway. Yee!
In other words, if my daddy’s Asian ass coulda been arrested (or murdered) back in the day for marrying my mama, howthaf*ckisdatdifferent from what Proposition 8 is trying to tell the American people???
!!!NO ON PROP. 8!!!
[Git 'em Home(r)boy!]
“BLURRING THE LINES”
Mixed Race vs. Queer Identity
Racialization, ethnicity and identity are 3 completely different things. For instance, while Tiger Woods is ethnically Black, European, Native American and Thai, he identifies himself as “Cablinasian,” a mixture of “Caucasian, Black, American Indian and Asian,” and America racializes him as “Black.” When he did this, people primarily saw this attempt to determine his own identity as self-hatred (i.e. “Why is Caucasian first in ‘Cablinasian,’ Tiger?!?!”). I still am not sure what to do with that whole situation but I do know for sure, that your identity does not necessarily match the ways in which you are racialized.
Much of re-learning various sociological/educational theory in school these days has given me an opportunity to look at some areas of oppression that I tend to overlook at times due to my privilege as a heterosexual man. Gender & Sexuality, and in particular Queer Studies Pedagogy has amazed me in the ways in which I find a plethora of commonalities and intersections between it and Mixed Race Politics (stay with me on this one).
AN (ambiguous) EXPLANATION:
-GLBTQ folks and mixed race folks can find much of their identity in ambiguity, be it sexual or racial.
-GLBTQ folks and mixed race folks are marginalized NOT because of the box they are put into, but because of the ways in which they do NOT fit into a box.
-The ways in which sexually ambiguous people are many times unable to conform to rigid definitions of what it means to be a “man” or “woman” (gender roles), is very similar to the ways in which (ethnically ambiguous) mixed race people do not fit into the rigid definitions of what it means to be “Asian,” “Black, “White,” “Latino,” “American Indian,” etc.
-The mere existence of GLBTQ and mixed race people, questions the very notion and purpose of the social constructions of gender and race.
-GLBTQ people might be “genderized” as something that is completely different from their sexual identity; Mixed race folks (like Tiger) might be “racialized” as something that is completely different from their racial identity.
-GLBTQ and mixed folks confuse the everloving sh*t out of everyone, including themselves, but are some of the most observant, watchful, clear-eyed/minded, thoughtful people to ever walk this earth and have existed since the inception of what we now call “America.”
“LOVE LOCKDOWN”
Amerika vs. America
I began this (HELLA LONG) entry stating that I needed to kick my addiction to cynnicism. I believe Barack Obama is the “Cynnicism Patch” (if you will). It’ll be long and painful, but it MIGHT just work. On the other hand, I also believe that McCain and Sarah Palin are an injection of cynnicism simultaneously, to the jugular and heart. While I do not believe Obama will truly change a whole helluva lot, I do know that he is the first person in my life who has made me care this much about electoral politics. I know that he is smart, that he is wise and that he believes in this country enough to make me question my cynnicism. I believe he will win. I believe we will win (this round). I believe Propositions 4, 6 & 8 will be shot down by Californians, and I believe this Holiday season will be one of the happiest since I was a child and thought an old, jolly, fat white dude from the North Pole would bring me gifts =P. Maybe, just maybe, this year it’ll be a middle-aged, slender, charismatic miscegenated brother from Hawaii/Cambridge/Chicago bringing me a lil bit of hope.
*Yes, that WAS the corniest muhf*ckin ending in the history of blogging. However, the 2nd step in kicking your cynnicism habit (after admitting you have a problem), is saying something stuey-uber-corny. Try it doggy.*
For the LAST time til Nov. 4…
!!!VOTEvoteVOTEvoteVOTEvoteVOTE!!!
COLINRESPONSE
P.S.
[CLICK PICTURE ABOVE TO DOWNLOAD A FREE MIXTAPE! (via MassMovementTV)]
P.P.S.
[Un-F*CKING-believable!!!]
[The Day of (fake-lightweight) Redemption is at Hand! (He STILL raw tho blud)]
Click Picture Below To Download a FREE copy of world-famous DJ Z-Trip’s Obama Mix. This sh*t is fresher than milk out the t*tty & comes Broken Halos recommended!
[Click that sh*t sun!]
[Z-Trip: Don't Sweat the Technique...]
This post is a small prelude to my delving into everything the elections is bringing about inside my clear/cloudy/crazed/rational/optimistic/disillusioned/righteous/f*cked-up brain. Stay tuned family. I’m finna wildthaf*ckout ina second in conjuction with Wiretap (thanks Jamilah!).
VOTE u beautiful bastards!!!
Senbeez
[Next Sunday, October 26 in the sucka free sh*tty: Be there blud!]
Party people in the place to be…
Next Sunday, the 26th you will be needing to take yo’ stankin’ ass to the Frisco city (if ur an eastbaylien like myself) an step in the name of love to Milk on Haight Street. Click HERE for pre-sale (cheaper) tix. Doors at 8pm.
[iLLiens from outer space...]
Not only will mi familia from the world famous Spoken Word Collective iLL-Literacy be putting it the EFF down (w/ their muhf*ckin band sun!), my dear friend and ally, sister Ruby Veridiano-Ching will be releasing her first book (of many to come) aptly titled, ”Miss Universe.” This is one night you do NOT wanna miss as it promises to kill any feelings of hopelessness you have about people no longer expressing themselves honestly through art and dedication. It’s heart healthy medication.
[Thanks for all the inspiration Roobz and Driz. Eye f*ckin love yall (no pun intended Drizzle =T get well soon)!]
Everything is iLLuminated.
Senbei
p.s. I do not claim to be anyone special, but I am highly confident in the ways I use my intelligence to disburse the ginormous amounts of love I have in my heart upon my people and my community/ies. With that said, I truly don’t go around endorsing just anyone like this. iLL-Lit is the real-deal-holyfield and if you respect my opinion in any way, shape or form, you will coordinate efforts to make it to this show. REAL TALK : 2 G’z 9 Pennies.
Hip-Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes, by filmaker Byron hurt is one of the most refreshing pieces of real-life-documentarianism I have ever come across. He is a gifted Hip-Hopper, educator, artist and activist.
[50 Cent vs. Barack Obama: comparing/contrasting ideals of black manhood in Amerika (via Adriel via NahRight)]
And here is an interview with Byron Hurt discussing Hip-Hop: Beyond Beats & Rhymes:
Refreshing and enlightening conversation with filmmaker and activist Byron Hurt on his renowned documentary on male identity in hip hop “Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes”. The film deconstructs hip hop as it relates to African American culture and consciousness, and it illustrates the elements of violence, misogyny and homophobia that are often endemic in this cultural form. This conversation also engages on aspects of modern race relations, culture and the rise of inspiring new models of African American manhood, including Barack Obama.
Be a man: try crying when you need to so you don’t perpetuate eurocentric, heterosexist, capitalist patriarchy. Give it a try! Don’t fight the feelin’, ’cause there’s a lot to cry about these days…
Yours TRULY,
Senbei
p.s.
[R.I.P. Sean Bell]
[McThizzface]
Disclaimer:
I know I’m in grad school right now and have been spending the majority of my time figuring out how to write in a way that will not be ignored by academics/people with power and influence (aka forget you grew up in Richmond and learned how to speak for the first 18 years of your life), but I’ma use this blog as a vehicle for my honest expression in my most honest of muhf*ckin voices…(YEE, muhf*cka! YEE!).
Good f*ckin’ lord, blud. I am truly not sure what to make of everything going on right now in Amerika. Sh*t really seems to be on its way to (or past) hitting the fan. McCain and Palin never cease to amaze me in the ways that they will hurl every insult and negative accusation at Obama in their candidacy, but when face to face with Biden and Obama in debates, never bring these things (ie: Bill Ayers) up! Until November the 4th, its gonna get pretty McNasty out here, sun. Yeesh.
The homie J-Bloom put me onto this vid of greatest-rapper-of-all-time-who-you-always-forget-to-put-in-your-greatest-rapper-of-all-time-lists, Scarface of Facemob, the Ghetto Boys and Houston, (don’t mess with)Texas. Art = Honest Expression = Art.
[How douchebaggy does that hat look on anybody BUT scarface?]
Senator John McCain’s my name and aint a damn thing changed / a veteran whose better than Osam-OBam-Oh what’s his name? Hussein’s his name / insane’s his game, to change is lame, I braved the rain: / tortured by the GOOKs and the Vietcong / abortions mothers choose and I think that’s f*cking wrong / I’ll sacrifice a million children if I have to / to cap the lives of Iraqi fighters – permamnent like tattoos / You wanna live on welfare? While Cubans merc you? / Then vote to make our healthcare universal / I’m the man to be in charge when tragedy strikes ’cause I was born when Blacks and womyn didn’t have any rights / I have to be right. / I’m old, I’m white, a man and rich as devil’s food / The bass too loud! / please make me proud and turn up all the treble fool! / register and choose McCain to vote for the chance / to stay the course and say in chorus: / “no sir, we cant!”
To further my point here as far as the insanity of McCain’s hinjinx, I feel it necessary to post my broshot Adrizzle of iLL-Literacy’s vlog about the 2nd Presidential debate. Get ‘em boy!
[Gotta love (to hate) that good 'ole fashioned U.S.A. racism!]
I know I spend a lot of time on this blog venting about what’s wrong with where I live, but the reason I do so is because I KNOW it can be so much f*cking better than this. I’ve seen the amazing human capacity in my newborn baby nephews and nieces, my wife, parents and brother and in the resilience of my sisters and brothers of all different walks of marginalized life. I am hopeful for celebration on November 4th but have not resigned myself to being setup for disappointment again. What I mean by this is that while I am thinking constantly about the positive thoughts and energy I believe people will need to shine outward for McCain to be beaten, I also fully subscribe to preparing for the worst. This means creating plans of action to protect ourselves/loved ones in the case that McCain/Palin wins and tries to keep gay people from marrying, building more prisons, taking away the right to choose and funding many more wars in many more places around the world.
Yes We Can (make sure we aren’t all assed-the-f*ck-out if Michelle isn’t our First Lady come November)!
‘Til November my people: stay strong and don’t drop your guard, but also don’t be scurred to turn to your neighbor and just “hug-it-out.”
["Can You Feel The Bigotry Tonight?"]
Un mundo mejor es posible,
Senbei
[A "Post Turtle" (via an email from mah mama)]
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, whose hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Palin and her bid.
The old rancher said, ‘Well, ya know, Palin is a ‘Post Turtle.” Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post turtle’ was. The old rancher said, ‘When you’re driving down a country road you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle.’
The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain. ‘You know she didn’t get up there by herself, she doesn’t belong up there, and she doesn’t know what to do while she’s up there; and you just wonder what kind of dummy put her up there to begin with.’
*SIGH*
In the long run, its not really the turtle’s fault it can’t do sh*t when put in a high position; however, we do need to become weary of a turtle who thinks she got up there by herself… =T
[www.psychopseudochristianlooneybinsfromalaska.org]
If you missed the VP debate last week, it went a lil sumpin like this…
[The Jumpoff Street Battle (via illdoctrine)]
If you haven’t done so already, REGISTER TO VOTE!!!
Better Luck Tomorrow,
Senbei
Wrote this essay for my Asian Amerikan Studies M.A. Immigration Course. I love this class because it’s sort of a place to process everything that is happening in my other classes and in my life. Our Professor is of Okinawan heritage and was raised in Hawaii. His spirit of Aloha and abilty to “talk story” with all of us, GOES.
Q: Is Class Adequately Addressed in Asian American Studies? Why or Why Not?
A: *DEEP INHALATION*…
Binary Refinery by Colin Masashi Ehara
In my lifetime, socioeconomic status, almost as much as race has been a confusing realm in which the borderlines are blurred in and around my existence. I have known people whose life experiences and dwellings made me feel as if I bathed in opulence, scrubbed with vanity and rinsed with privilege; and I have experienced feelings of indescribable inadequacy in the surroundings of others. I found as an undergrad that class status in regards to Asian American studies was generally something that did not tell my story. Various Asian American ethnic groups seemed to be racialized with immediate class-status roots, wrapped up, tied with a bow and presented to students in a nice little package. Chinese, Korean and especially Japanese Americans were “economically successful.” Filipinos, Vietnamese and other South/Southeast Asian and Pacific Islander groups were “colonized and stratified into poor/working-class backgrounds.” As a mixed race Japanese/Scottish/Iroquois American, I am often as an East Asian/Caucasian, racialized by others as someone whose experience should not know economic hardship. Growing up in the east bay during the 1980’s with a father who sold cash registers and mother who did clerical work at Kaiser Hospital in Oakland, combined with 12 years in Richmond Public school education is not what one would typically label a “Japanese” or “”Caucasian” experience. I have resided for the majority of my life (until recently), in the grey area of the Asian American binary of a poor/working-class labor force and a entrepreneurial, professional middle-class. The mere fact that my story has yet to be told, is itself a testament to the current inadequacies of Asian American Studies in regards to class study; however, my being allowed to testify now points to a new direction.
Famed African-American comedian Chris Rock once stated, “to me, America is like that uncle in your family who paid your way through college…but molested you.” In regards to my family history, I know this statement to be particularly true. Prior to WWII, my Jichan’s family owned a large amount of land in the Napa Valley wine country. After Pearl Harbor was attacked by Japan and all people of Japanese ancestry were interned in concentration camps, my grandfather’s family was forced to sell this land at rock-bottom prices. I have been told by my parents on separate occasions that this vineyard in Napa today accrues upwards of about $1,000,000 annually and is owned by a white family. During the war, my Bachan was granted early exit by enrolling in a nursing school, while my Jichan was drafted into the U.S. Army’s military intelligence services as a translator. After the war ended, my Bachan continued her work as a nurse and my Jichan worked freelance as a gardener. When the Civil Liberties Act was signed into law by President George H.W. in 1992, my grandparents were each given $20,000 and a written apology for their internment as surviving internees. The money, while nowhere near what might have been incurred with the land in Napa, was used to 1. take our entire extended family on vacation to Hawaii, and 2. finish the last of their payments on their home in El Cerrito. My grandparents were in essence removed from an upper-class future, placed into a working-class existence due to internment and eventually placed into middle-class status due to reparations from that same incarceration.
Due to the untimely conception of myself, my father was forced to leave graduate school before receiving his M.A. degree in Mass Communications. While my father and mother both possessed Bachelor’s degrees, neither occupied a career whose monetary benefits were very substantial. My parents both loved working closely with other people and having a sense of community and service to that community in their lives. When I came into the world, the options they had been presented with didn’t necessarily meet those expectations. I can recall both low points as well as high points in the memories of my socioeconomic history. One of these low points came in the realization that we could no longer afford the house we lived in. We were fortunate enough to have both family and friends who were A. willing to take us in, and B. willing to rent out our house themselves while we got “back on our feet.” We moved in with my Uncle Ronnie who was a Nisei man, born inside the barbed wire of Japanese American internment camps. He possessed a sharp temper, a contempt for white people (which my mother was) and a fatalistic attitude that lead to his eating fried foods, drinking beer every day after work, ignoring his diabetes and never caring for his health. Ronnie died in his early 50’s and while I am eternally grateful to have had him as a “safety net,” living with my Uncle Ronnie didn’t always feel “safe.”
The day things began to change was when my father was hired by what was then the Richmond Unified School District (after going bankrupt and being bailed out by the State of California, the name was changed to the West Contra Costa County School District), as the new Public Communications Officer. For one, we were able to afford moving back into our small house in the Richmond Annex and two, my mother was then allowed to quit her job and return to school to pursue a LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) degree. The fact that both of my parents had been given access to higher education was the determining factor in our ability to transition from a working-class lifestyle, living month to month, paycheck to paycheck, to a lower middle-class standing in which a home, savings account and hope for a better future were possible. Education was stressed in my household intensely and in many ways, even after school ended my education did not.
My parents enrolled me into the 1st Grade at Kensington Elementary in the hills above Richmond where we lived. It was touted as the best elementary school in our area due to the wealth (and epidermal hue) of the residents in its vicinity. I found in this institution a rude awakening as to the fact that to other students here I was both “Chinese” and “poor.” My hand-me-down clothes combined with my slanted eyes and thick, black hair inevitably got me picked last in all sports or even rejected to the point of not playing at all and languishing on the bench by myself. I recall feeling enough anxiety each morning my parents took me to school, that I threw up in the hallway or in the classroom on multiple occasions. It didn’t take long for my parents to see that I might fare better in a different social setting.
I began the 2nd grade at Fairmont Elementary just a 5 minute drive from my house. This school was about 40% Black, 25% Latino, 20% Asian and 15% white. It was at this school that for the first time in my education, being a person of color did not seem an immediate disadvantage. It was here that being white many times made you a target of insults and name-calling, isolation and internal anxiety. In the span of two years I had been freed from the strata of middle-class Asian America and flung towards the opposite binary of working-class Asian-America. It was here among other working-class people of color that I learned “coolness” – the suit of armor that shielded you from insult and attack; whose shine could be used to attract the attention of the opposite sex, but at the same time often prevented its wearer from showing their true, full selves to the world.
The blatant differences I noticed in my upbringing came when visiting the homes of some of my Black, Latino and Southeast Asian American friends. With some of these peers I noticed that unlike my house, their education primarily ended when the bell rang at school. There was often no one home to help or encourage completing homework assignments and television was the babysitter. In others’ homes parents might be physically present, but alcohol or other drug induced comas kept them from being mentally, spiritually, parentally present. While my parents resided in the same vicinity (even the same block) and sent me to the same under funded schools as my peers, they did not possess any drug dependency, had a two-parent household and had attained access to higher education. Within the frameworks of race and class, I was given a deep look into varying worlds as they crashed into each other in front of and around me without remorse.
Today I feel jaded and clear eyed, hopeful and pessimistic, extremely positive and very disillusioned. Asian American Studies has been offered a wealth of information as to the experiences of a plethora of different Asian Americans in regards to their class ties and experiences through data and a multitude of statistical analysis. This knowledge is of the utmost importance and remains extremely valuable. However, if a picture is worth a thousand words, these myriad data complete a picture of the tip of an iceberg. I believe that to truly convey a thorough understanding of the socio-psychological effects of class (especially coupled with race), that stories need to be told and heard. The oral histories of Asian Americans who reside in the grey areas between the binary poor/working-class and entrepreneurial/professional middle-class will play a fundamental role in completing the “big picture.” The mere opportunity to write this essay in an Asian American Studies Graduate course not only addresses inadequacies within common sense understandings of the racialization of Asian Americans, but makes me feel more hopeful for the prospects of deeper study of socioeconomic standing within an Asian American studies framework. My story and our further study of class-status within Asian American Studies is a step away from the “black-white” binary socioeconomic map America creates and reproduces.
_________
“Only God can judge me so I’m gone, either love me or leave me alone…”
Colinresponse
