Brother Ali on the ‘N-Word’

via illdoctrine

The thing with the ‘n word’: it’s very very confusing for white (me: and/or Asian) kids who have a lot of black friends and are accepted. And I can’t stand here and say that when I was 9 years old, and all my friends were black, and they were telling me ‘you’re basically black,’ that I didn’t believe that. Now I’m at a place where I’m just like ‘not everybody knows me and nobody should ever have to…why should I impose on other people to have to confront that question in their mind?’ You know what I mean?

-Brother Ali

It’s been really beautiful and inspiring to me as a fan of his, to watch this man grow, mature, and develop as a artist and human being over the years through his music. With life often feeling so messy for those (millions) of us who during our youth searched for – most times in vain – an identity that would never be policed by others, Ali has provided me a consistent example of critical hope. He reminds me in no uncertain terms, that like Malcolm X stated, “Stumbling is not falling,” or like Samuel Beckett wrote, “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

Too often I create a fantasy-world in my head, wherein I lead myself to believe there are people out there who have it all figured out, who have created an idea or piece of art that is wholely “original”, or who have reached self-actualization without both incredible support and without making dumbass mistake, after dumbass mistake, after dumbass mistake…

In the face of being asked “What (or who) are you?”, told “Be yourself,” “Quit frontin’,” etc. (during my best attempts to express myself honestly) more times than I can comprehend, I am still only in the beginning and ongoing stages of unravelling the tightly-wound ball of ego/fear/insecurity that too often keeps me from extreme gratitude and critical self-reflection. Today, it is crystal clear to me that (as Ali exhibits) moving toward love and justice undeniably require both. I am so thankful for artists like Ali, who practice what they preach and provide me with further evidence that it quite literally “aint that black or white…”

To y/our perfect imperfections,

C

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