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Proof that autotune can make anyone a musician.
Tuesday, November 3 at 3:30 p.m.
The event will include performances of spoken word, dance, and song. There will also be a candle light vigil once it begins to get dark. The theme color will be turquoise which represents sexual assault.
Donation checks can be sent to:
Assault Victim Fund
Richmond High School
1250 23rd St.
Richmond, CA 94804
The checks should be made out to “Richmond High School Student Fund.” On the memo line, write “Assault Victim Fund.”
[C' Me In 'C' Me Out pt. 1]
Award-winning documentary about Cambodian gangs in Oakland, CA.
['C' Me In 'C' Me Out pt. 2]
[E! True Hollywood Story: The Donut King]
Saw these in class today. We discussed the ways differing routes to citizenship work to “whiten” or “blacken” Asian Pacific Americans. Shit is deep. More on this later when my brain doesn’t hurt so much.
Love,
C
[Lupe Fiasco ft. Matthew Santos - Shining Down]
Opening/Hook:
Look Up in the Sky.
Now Look Up in the Sky.
Look Up in the Sky
You thought I was down.
You thought I was gone.
Thought I wasn’t around.
You thought I left you alone.
But look Up in the Sky.
Just look Up in the Sky.
See that I’m everywhere
Everywhere
Shining Down on You.
Verse 1:
Well, well
Is that our little author?
Coming back; Humming his hymns a little altered.
Your attention; Put back on the flow like a department of water
Take it off of the door like little Walter
Chess? Yes. Baby, I’m Jerry Lawler
Rebel with a cause; Outlaw with the lawyer
Judge, jury like a loo; Rap name Lupe but my daddy named me Warrior
This is his memorial…
Hook:
You thought I was down.
You thought I was gone.
Thought I wasn’t around.
That I left you alone.
But Look Up in the Sky.
Just look Up in the Sky.
See that I’m everywhere
Everywhere
Shining Down on You.
Verse 2:
No, I ain’t the n*gga trying to get a liquor line
When I be scripting lines; Want this petition signed.
It says I’m sick of dying; Sick of this prison time.
I really love my people; I’m sick of pimping mine.
Now if you autotune that shit
We can hear the songs from that Opera groomed fat bitch
Telling is not the pursuer just the shoe like a blacksmith
We’re trapped, and moving round in circles like it’s chap stick
And that’s the same encircled way of thinking that we chat with
We’ll rap this, around your head like a bandanna’s fabulous
Used to wrap his hat’s with; Rather being F.E.D.S. instead of National Geographics
Well, I’m not having it, now.
Hook X2
Verse 3:
So, I say hello and this is for the third time
To everybody out there who ain’t never heard of mine
And if you have then you know you ain’t never heard lying
Lu don’t move. No cowards, you only heard lions
Not a facade cherisher, I’d rather have the scars
I don’t idolize America, I’m dancing with the stars
Uh huh. All of them? Yea, they are, too.
You look up and you see us Shining Down on you.
Hook X2
Wrote this for my ‘Educational Equity’ course. Been doing a lot of thinking with regards to whiteness, white identity formation, white people, white privilege, white guilt, white chocolate, white lies, whiteout, white mochas, white castle, the white stripes, the chicago white sox, the white house… We’re only allowed 2 pages so I couldn’t go into depth on certain things and would’ve liked to elaborate more in certain areas, but cest la vie.
[Critical Race Theorist, Tim Wise on white Privilege]
——-
The Anchor for Whiteness & Rocking the Boat:
Divide & Conquer Strategies in America’s Working-Class
Last week as I mopped the floors of the restrooms at Beet’s Coffee in El Cerrito, California, I overheard one of my white co-workers talk about the Starfux Coffee in Richmond (where I was also previously employed), and how its customers “don’t know what good coffee is,” nor did the store’s employees know how to make a “real espresso,” because they (Starfux) would “hire anyone that walks in off the street.” Some part of the (mis)information that had been passed to this young adult from their employer, parents, schooling, society, etc., had led them to believe they were in fact superior to an employee at a similar place of business, not but 5 miles away. While this particular Barista more than likely made $1-$2 more per hour than those at Richmond’s Starfux Coffee; and their clientele more than likely included a greater number of white, middle-class, and/or professionals due to its location – they, not unlike their “inferior” counterparts 5 miles away, would be subjected to mopping bathroom floors, grinding coffee beans, and struggling to make enough hours to access health care benefits. Since its inception, the United States of America has operated and thrived on “divide and conquer” tactics. By instilling a false sense of superiority in certain groups while simultaneously creating an “other” through schools and institutions, working people are blinded from the common oppression they share, as the “upper echelons” of society reap the benefits.
For many today, the “American Dream” means assimilation into the normalcy of “whiteness.” A suburban, middle-class, heteronormative, homogenous lifestyle is not only what each American is told implicitly and explicitly to strive for in this society, but that if they do not succeed in doing so, they will be “abnormal.” Throughout America’s relatively short history, the concept of who was and was not “white” and therefore “normal,” and “supreme,” has been relatively fluid. In White Americans, The New Minority?, Jonathan Warren explains the changing racialization of the Irish in America when he states:
In general, the Irish were seen as a separate (non-“white”) race. They were considered members of the “inferior Celtic race” that could be physically distinguished from the “superior Anglo-Saxon race.” Especially in the decades prior to the Civil War, it was not uncommon to refer to the physical distinctiveness of the Irish… Inherited features like eye and skin color, facial configuration, and physique were often mentioned. Common adjectives such as “low-browed and savage, groveling and bestial, lazy and wild, simian and sensual” were employed “by many native-born Americans to describe the Catholic Irish ‘race’” (Warren, 1997).
As time passed and the Irish began to gain numbers (and therefore political power), the concept of “whiteness” began to shift. As the “superior Anglo-Saxon race” began to see its power threatened, it allowed the inclusion of the Irish into its bubble of “supremacy,” thus shifting Irish status to “normal” and “supreme,” from “abnormal” and “inferior.’
African Americans, then as well as now, occupy the same or similar place in American society that the Irish did centuries ago. In addressing the relation of African Americans to white people in the U.S., Jonathan Warren argues further that, “Blacks, at least on the national level, serve as the anchor for Whiteness…and because of this, ‘a kind of pseudo-homogeneity’ among non-Blacks as whites is possible” (Warren, 1997). In other words, in order for a small, elite group of people to exist, while maintaining a vast amount of a society’s resources, a false sense of superiority must be created in the minds of certain groups of working people, while at the same time deeming “inferior” and marginalizing other groups. By this nature and in the “age of Obama,” even if African Americans are someday seen as normalized within positions of power and privilege, there will always be a fundamental need to divide working people on certain grounds, for those in power remain there. And as the “anchor of whiteness” and what is deemed “normal” changes shape and form through the past, present, and future of American society, it will fall upon poor and working people to either continue bearing the brunt of this heavy burden, or to rock the boat.
WORKS CITED:
1. Warren, J., & Twine, F.W. (1997). White Americans, the new minority? Non-Blacks and the ever expanding boundaries of Whiteness. Journal of Black Studies, 28(2), 204 & 208.
Tired from mopping,
Masashi
p.s.
[Comedian Louis C.K. on white Privilege]
1.
[A Preview of Ken Burns' "National Parks"]
I heart when TV does NOT suck. Ken Burns’ documentary series on the histories of Baseball and Jazz were informative and dopely constructed. Check it out!
2.
[CLICK PIC for FREE Download!]
The talented and ambitious brother Adriel ‘Drizzletron‘ Luis and his Fambam Nico Cary and Dahlak Brathwaite of iLL-Literacy are working on some huge things out in Brooklyn. This is only a preview of what’s to come.
3.
[Click HERE for the good homie DJ P.Sani's super-clean "9 for 9" Mix]
1. Mayer Hawthorne – Maybe So, Maybe No
2. Con Funk Shun – California 1
3. The Blackbyrds – Rock Creek Park
4. Sade – Hang on to Your Love
5. Indeep – Last Night a DJ Saved My Life
6. George Benson – Give me the Night
7. Patrice Rushen – Forget me Nots
8. Michael Jackson – Farewell my Summer Love
9. Mark Morrison – Return of the Mack (p.sani inTheBasementFunk remix)
4.
[2nd Largest Aquarium on the globe. Via my brother from another, Mikey Pedro]
Belicimo. I need to go Japan. Never been. Every second that ticks by until I make it there hurts me soul. Me and wifey will hopefully be making it out there and the Philippines this summer. Fingers crossed.
5.
[Click Picture for FREE! Download of Power Struggle's "Remittances" Sampler (via Fatgums)]
6.
[Michael Moore discussing his new film, "Capitalism: A Love Story," & ripping CNN's Wolf Blitzer a new one]
7.
Your Brilliant/Resilient Song of the Day:
[Gnarls Barkley - Who Cares? (Right-Click and "Save-Target-As" to DL)]
I love this song, and every time I’m thinking too long and hard (no homophobia) about anything I’m studying, it’s always good to ask myself, “but who cares?”
Now get back to work! =)
C
[I can't wait to see this sh*t!]
This movie is about escaping reality and I can dig that. I think in my socratic-pretentious-grad-school-socialized-to-think-a-degree-makes-one-smart bubble, I began at times to speak condescendingly of myself when I sought escapism in the past. What I didn’t think about was the fact that this might lead people to believe I thought I was now better than those who currently drink, smoke, play video games, hop on the internet for countless hours, eat huge portions of food, take various other drugs, read comics, watch TV, dvds, etc., to escape. As someone who sometimes slips or has slipped into all of these, I can say wthout hesistation that while I have never found anything hugely liberating in these acts, I can say that doing so doesn’t make one stupid, ignorant, bad, evil or inferior to one who doesn’t choose to partake in such shenanigans.
I went out and got into some real stewiefied shenanigans with some of my beautiful homies this weekend and got to remember for a second that while too much of anything (including reading books on Asian American masculinity) can have negative affects, moderation is key. I got to “escape” from my mind for a sec with some people I love, and it offered me some new perspective. I’m not condoning making a habit of killing brain cells, but I do believe there to be some value in being able to turn your brain off and letting go for two seconds amidst the madness of it all (however u choose to do so).
Now that I’ve said that and believe your brain to be working, (because this blog is far too depressing/boring to visit if you aren’t sober), PLEASE visit THIS SITE ASAP to help, in any way you can, the victims of Typhoon Ondoy in the Philippines. We have been unable to get in touch with some of my wife’s family members over there and our family is very worried and scared.
On September 26, 2009, Typhoon Ondoy brought a month’s worth of rainfall to Metro Manila and nearby areas in just a few hours, causing severe flooding which resulted in the loss of many lives and the displacement of hundreds of thousands of people. This site compiles relevant information about the disaster, including a volunteer-maintained map of persons needing rescue and a list of relief organizations accepting donations, so that more help can be provided where it is needed.
PLEASE VISIT THESE SITES & DONATE WHAT U CAN:
-UNICEF
-Philippine Aid
-ABS-CBN Foundation
[BBC Coverage of the Typhoon]
Sending love and prayers.
C
Dear students of AAS 550: Asian Americans of Mixed Heritage,
Thank you so much for allowing me to visit yall and marinate in the positive energy you’ve created with Dr. Dariotis and Kira this semester. I humbly thank the group that presented on ‘the literary cannon’ and while it was incredibly strange seeing other people analyze something I worked on creating, it helped me to think about how to push forward in my (many times insignificant – but not always) pursuits of love, service and social justice.
I thank you all for the insightful comments and questions you wrote to me. I think what tied most of them together was your asking about “blurry lines” and how to navigate dual and/or conflicting identities. I am no one of consequence, but I’ve found in my own experience that you shouldn’t let others dictate who you are supposed to be. At the same time, working to recognize what forces and factors are at work when people let you know your behavior/identity is rubbing them the wrong way, is key to staying connected to people on a human level.
One of my homies is a talented writer of mixed race and won the Japantown “Cherry Blossom Queen” title some years back. In one of my mass emails to freinds and fam asking for guidance with regards to my study, she told me (something close to), “Colin, I think where you are struggling lies in the fact that you want to please everybody. This is not only impossible, but it also means you aren’t doing this work for YOU. Do this for YOU and remember that no matter what you do, somebody will end up not fully satisfied or dissatisfied.” To hear this come from someone who received blatant ‘haterade’ at times from monoracial Japanese Americans in her quest for the Cherry Blossom crown, reminded me that 1. I’m not alone, and 2. People’s internalized hurts and insecurities (including my own) are going to stop us in our tracks at times, but recognizing that they are there is part of the painful path to progress (Lord, I sound like a preachy muhf*cka =P). Don’t let people tell u what u can and cannot do, but also question why it would matter to them so much. What may have happened in their lives to make them feel so strongly about your identity and/or behavior? Is it their issues, yours, or a combo of both? (almost always the latter).
With that rant, I guess what I am trying to say is that working to be aware of my own shortcomings and misguided behavior (despite my best intentions), has caused me to be much more compassionate towards others when I see them doing too much and acting out-of-pocket. This doesn’t make my or others’ silly/wack/oppressive acts okay, but the attention I have to deal with them when they appear has increased.
I’ve upset and/or confused some people (some of whom I truly care about) along the way in working out what it means to be a Japanese/Scottish/Iroquois kid raised in Richmond and its public schools, who now lives with his family in his late Bachan and Jichan’s (grandparent’s) beautiful home in El Cerrito. Ive figured out over time that having my identity questioned in almost every space Ive occupied in life made me very stubborn and stuck in a lot of my ways. I’ve also come to understand that if I don’t reevaluate the privilege in my life (while simultaneously acknowledging my struggle as an Asian/Japanese mixed race man of color) it is not just countering who I want to be, but is also a slap in the face to all my friends, family and community who have suffered or are suffering at the hands of the most explicit froms of oppression (ie. prison, addiction, homicide, genocide, rape, depression, suicide, etc.). I want to operate from a place of love and not guilt, and noticing when I feel the guilt paralyze me is hella f*cking important to keeping my mind and heart in the right place.
One of you asked me about trying to gain knowledge thru higher education and not losing touch with your friends who are maybe stuck in certain patterns of behavior (smoking, drinking, drugs, etc.). What I would say to that is to always be mindful of your privilege as a student (as you probably already are). We get to step outside of the average day-to-day craziness of life (unless you work and/or have a child and go to school) to examine it. If you ever want to question their possibly self-destructive habits, do so from a place of love and not condescension, reminding them that they matter to you. This at times is not an easy task (with young men of color in particular due to internalized homophobia), but if you truly want to be an ally and want more for them, a painful route may be necessary. Part of your privilege in access to higher education will mean using it to love and serve your people (whoever they may be). This however, as you know of course, is your choice and nobody else’s.
I have worked in education and aspire to continue loving and serving young people of color because I believe these are the people who are most likely to change the world. Those who are most comfortable in the country not only don’t care to change, they fear it. It will be those who have the least to lose who end up going all out in efforts to bring about justice. I can attest fully to the fact that now that I am married and plan on having children and a career to support my family, I have much to lose and be concerned about. My attention is not as focused on destroying oppression as it is figuring out how to help my closest loved ones survive within it. I won’t be the one who starts the revolution, but hopefully I will aid and be an ally to someone who does in the future (maybe it’s one of yall!).
In closing…
Love yourself. I’ve found that the times I am most f*cked up to and hard on other people is when I am the most f*cked up to and hard on myself. If you can’t look in the mirror and see your own personal beauty/dopeness, you probably will have some trouble seeing the beauty/dopeness in others as well. I can say without a shadow of a doubt after meeting yall, is that ALL OF YOU ARE TRULY BEAUTIFUL & DOPE. If my words mean anything to you at all, this is the one piece I hope you take in and accept. The only reason I have anything to offer in regards to advice is because I have time and time again, figured out how to make a huge muhf*ckin mess of my life. Most of my advice is rooted in failure, but the Buddhist in me knows that suffering is a part of life and finding meaning in that suffering is what keeps me movin.
Thank you sincerely, Dr. Wei Ming, Kira and young scholars of AAS550.
Stay beautiful & dope,
C
(Unfortunately, this letter is for more than a few different dope & righteous individuals)
Peace bro,
I hope you’re well and I think u deserve any and all dopeness that comes ur way.
Besides wanting to say wassup, I wanted to write u to both thank and apologize to you.
I’ve been losing sleep over this and thinking a lot lately about how during the struggle Ive been going thru in school, the negative space Ive been in at times has affected the ppl I care about. I wish there weren’t so many homies I needed to write to in this regard (apologizing). Unfortunately, I feel I have a pretty long list.
My mind jumps to conclusions a lot these days and Im always second-guessing shit (my own and others’), so if any or all of this is completely off, I apologize. I just want u to know im checking in because I look up to, respect and care about you, and dont ever want you to believe otherwise.
In your own way, you have helped me to see that some of my actions of late have been whack and not representative of who I wish to be. Leaving my youth of 4 years and spending a year isolated and completely centering myself, quite literally made my ass HELLA self-centered. I forgot to look out while looking in and as I began to see all the ways certain parts of my own behavior were problematic, my ego and insecure bullshit began to protect itself by lashing out. I forgot for a second that I went to school to build and not destroy.
Ive been jumping to a bunch a of different conclusions and I (could be wrong but I) believe there may have been a time or times you thought some of the things I posted in my negative states were about you. I hope u are able to believe me when I say this was never the case, and that it was ALWAYS about me.
I feel like such a ginormous muhfuckin scrub writing this letter but I felt I had to, because since the day I met you, you have been nothing but kind, generous and supportive of me. You never once questioned my credibility, authenticity or legitimacy, and on top of all that, you have always looked out for me and eM. You make me proud to be an Asian, East Asian, and/or Asian Pacific American man. I think what u are doing with your life is so incredibly brave and groundbreaking and its a crazy inspiration to myself and so many others.
I thought of you recently and my heart became heavy. I began to piece certain things together in my own mind that led me to believe you felt disrespected by me at some point, and its fucked with me ever since.
This shit is mad long and I know that u are an insanely busy brother, but I hope this letter makes some kind of sense to you. If any of my actions as of late feel like something you won’t be able to pardon, that is something I will have to make peace with. If you ever need anything at all, please trust: I am here.
with deep gratitude, respect and blessings,
C
_______
Much apologies for all the emo-ness as of late. I’ve been reflecting a lot and want to make any amends I can.
["Addicted to Race" - Episode 1 (Mixed Race Identity)]
I’m really impressed by the work of Carmen Van Kerchove. She is very adept at exploring the experiences of mixed race folks and does so in a way that humanizes us, rather than distancing us from others (I’m tryna get better at this =T). I think when I am made by myself and/or others to feel inauthentic, I sometimes lose my cool and can end up lashing out at my own people (East Asian/Japanese/AsianPacificIslander and Anglo folks). This is not a good look for many reasons, but it is especially whack when I forget those of monoracial (one race) East Asian/Japanese/AsianPacificIslander or Anglo background who DID always accept, love, and respect me fully.
A lil while ago, I wrote in a fit of schizophrenic isolation, that as a child growing up around many who did not look like me, that I felt in my own mind at the time, I was neither “the effeminate Asian nerd” or the “awkward, souless whiteboy,” but something different. My identity formation growing up was f*cked up because it is a blatant case of hating the depths of ME, and again, ridiculously disrespectful to my people of “pure blood” who always accepted me as authentic family during my short life.
While this statement was true, the part I did not include was that I felt this way pretty much only when I wasn’t around my “own people.” When kicking it with my predominantly “full-blood” Japanese and Chinese American homies at my buddhist Temple, I many times felt like “the souless, awkward whiteboy”; and when surrounded by mostly white folks (1st grade at Kensignton Elementary & summer basketball camp), I was called “Colin E-Honda” (of Street Fighter II-fame: cold game blud – I was chubby then too), “Jackie Chan,” and “Ching-Chong-China” enough times to believe at the ages of 5-8, that I was a “half Japanese & half ‘normal’ effeminate Asian nerd.” Being labeled “Chinese Steve Kerr,” on the all-African-American-’cept for-Ehara-JV-hoop squad in high school (“I aint Chinese blud, I’m Japanese.” “What’s the f*ckin’ difference?” “…just shoot the ball.”) didn’t help my internal dialogue much in the area of self-love, but I do know that when we played Piedmont High and some of my teammates would tell me “yo C, we boutta f*ck these whiteboys up,” it made me feel good inside to not be viewed as a “whiteboy who needed f*cking up.” I felt then, and sometimes still feel today like the “effeminate Asian nerd,” the “awkward, soulless whiteboy,” neither of the two, and sometimes like all three at once.
With this silly stroll down memory lane, I’d like to dedicate this post to my monoracial, “full-blood,” “pure breed,” friends, family, and allies of all racial/ethnic backgrounds who never questioned my racial, cultural, etc. authenticity and always showed me love, respect, support, had my back, and trusted me enough to tell me when I was being out-of-pocket. I apologize for the times I let my own personal hurts say stupid sh*t about ALL monracial people because of some of them saying stupid sh*t about ALL mixed race people. If I ever sounded arrogant or condescending, it was due to my own fears and insecurities and I regret deeply, if I projected any of these feelings onto any of you.
For eM, my Mama, my Pops, and my Grandparents.
Thank you for being my greatest monoracial allies.
Love,
Colinresponse
p.s.
2 Haafu Haikus
Digging for my roots
I stripped away my branches
I don’t look so hot
I am a loser
In oppression’s olympics
Nobody wins here
